3 Thoughts for the Older [Actually Any] Girls Coming After My Tribe of Sons.
I saw you eyeing my pack of boys. Did you see me? Their Mom shopping the clearance rack just trying to find a deal?
We had been in the store for 3.5 minutes. That is all it took for you to take notice and demand their attention.
I watched you slip around a corner catching him far enough away from the family when you called him over. I heard you cornering him informing him of his level of attractiveness.
"My friend is driving me crazy because she really likes you...can you please come over and talk to her so she'll calm down?"
Really? Calm down? I thought... that poor girl seems desperate.
I saw my boys face go white as a sheet as you would not let down. Did you hear his nervous voice cracking?
You were relentless. "Can you please? Just come over here." I called him back a couple of times but you didn't catch the obvious.
I gave you my Mom look of death and you slipped back around the corner.
I educated my boys on what stalking and creeping looks like right then and there... and we agreed that responding to that kind of attention was a bad idea.
Then it happened, you became a living example of those definitions. THANK YOU!
You came back with your friend. You've got to be kidding me! Later I told my son I was sorry if that embarrassed him..."You didn't Mom, she won't leave me alone."
You continued to stalk from a distance, taking pictures on your phone and even followed us out of the store. Ladies, this is C.R.E.E.P.Y.
Obviously my presence or my words did not hinder your mission.
So here's are few tips girls, because you really don't want to come across needy or trashy. It won't help you later - promise.
1. Saying hello is not a crime but why would you even feel the need to scout out a boy who is that young? Makes a Mom wonder what this would look like if four of his family members weren't standing around. Forcing a boy to talk to you is desperate girls. It just is. I don't care how old he is. Notice that he's cute - great. Actually pursuing him makes me nauseous.
Also, when you stalk boys no matter what age, you become a billboard for insecurity. You are worth more than forcing a boy to come talk to you. This time it was a middle school kid, but I'm worried for you when you go after a hot guy and win. The cycle of "getting guys to like you" and basing your worth on approval is going to hurt you.
2. Our culture is telling you to get after him and make the moves. Do whatever it takes to have someone make you feel good about yourself. The problem ladies is that you are not thinking about the boys. You are thinking about yourself.
Any wise parent is going to train their sons to look for qualities in a girl who displays honor, integrity, and thoughtfulness. They are not going to teach their boys to look for the loud, forceful, overbearing, and needy girls. I'm sorry ladies but our sons are not in that market.
3. Lastly, I want you to surround yourself with girlfriends that don't pressure you to be someone you are not. Boy crazy is high maitienience. If all your gals are making you feel less because you don't have a boyfriend or aren't "talking" to someone then RUN! Find friends who care about you, not making their own behaviour look better because they've roped you in.
I've had the joy of working with Middle, High School, and College girls for fifteen years and I care about your heart, your decisions, and where you find your worth.
I want Gods best for your relationships.
If you want a guy to notice you... develop your heart. I know its crazy, but that is what will attract the guys who will actually love you like you are dreaming about.