Because You Can Only Do So Much {Giving Yourself A Dose of Grace}

DSC_0416 Sunday morning came all too soon.

The  middle of the night hours were not kind to me. The night brought several wake up calls from a teething baby boy and I was exhausted from the up and down and trying to keep the sleeping house -  still asleep..

Kris came into the kitchen that morning to find me in tears trying to settle down the baby.

That is the moment when he spoke the words that every Pastor's wife needs to hear now and then...especially at 6:00 am Sunday  morning.

"Baby - how about you two stay home this morning and just rest?"

Grace in the form of a Sunday morning pass.

Suddenly I could gather my  tears and press through the morning. I got the older 4 out the door to church and put the baby down for what I hoped to be super extended nap.

I quickly brewed my second cup of coffee, wiped down the cookie dough covered counter from dinner the night before and maybe ate 2 cookies before I found my cozy seat by the window.

When others grant you grace in the form of appreciation for a job well done or forgiveness from a difficult situation... you get to experience peace and rest.

Oh the freedom of a soul set free.

I sat there with coffee in hand watching leaves make their way to the porch and was reminded  that the grace my husband offered when he realized my need for being still  had a way of acknowledging my hard work.

"Why yes I think I will stay home and soak up the silence."

What Momma doesn't want to be seen and valued?

It's not easy managing hearts and trying to keep them all at the same time, even though we love our job.

Burn out is just around the corner if we can't catch a break.

That moment of knowing I was off the clock all morning helped me gather some hope and spend time listening to Jesus speak truth about my different roles.

He kept giving me this sense of freedom.

"Jenny - give yourself grace. Offer it like you would to a dear friend. You are not capable of avoiding burn out. I want to  give you what you need to see the growth taking place in your life because of your pressing on to love your family. Look to me, not yourself. The second you lean into me is when you will see just how much you have been giving and how much you need me."

I was thankful for the reminder that morning and for the time off. Being kind to yourself is something we are not great at.

Kind to strangers - or course.

Kind to loved ones - most of the time.

Kind to ourselves - rarely.

We cannot really be useful and gracious to any other soul if we can't first find a way care for us. It's not selfish but it  is however a little bit like my husband realizing I was finished and allowing some grace to recover. No guilt, just grace.

This week I hope we can be givers and receivers of grace.

Take the pass and go settle your heart down.

Give the pass for another to start over.

Sometimes the fear of stopping is half the battle. I knew God would speak if I stopped and listened. He did and I found that grace doesn't always have to come from something negative.

Grace can be given to us just because we have been giving so much.