That Holding Pattern Though
I found a quiet corner at the convention center to gather my stuff and honestly didn't know quite how to handle being away from my kids for the week!
Is this real? No one needs me? I'm allowed to close out my mothering tabs?
No questions to answer, no math problems or meals to prepare, a break from the everyday routines of breakfast to bath time?
What an unbelievable feeling to not be rushed or over scheduled for days!
I congratulated myself with my 4th cup of free coffee, ear buds in, and purposefully ignoring all the telling of time.
It had been for-ever since I could function on a free brain and we so needed that open space to spread out all our thoughts, dreams, fears, and questions before God.
Even sitting there in that freedom I was a loss for words... crazy talk.
The six-hour drive to Atlanta allowed conversations without interruption and precious hours to catch up with my husband and gather up our lives to this point.
So many hopes and turns just around the bend and we were doing our best to be right where He had us... needing Him.
I began to write about all God was showing me but those easily flowing sentences were not forming.
I sat there for a few minutes and then remembered that I was failing to ask the most important of questions.
Jesus - what do you want to say to me?
Just like that, the words poured across my notebook like a glass of tipped over milk at the dinner table.
He spoke straight into my heart in that exact minute as if He was waiting for me to ask...
"I'm still here holding you and you've not run away from me in your time of waiting.
See - I'm creating moments and opportunities while you grow and trust.
I am going nowhere. I'm showing up in your every day - all day - all night.
I'm stirring hearts at your next location.
I am making time to close this chapter you've loved so well.
I am ahead of you. My view is all the way into your eternity - so don't bother with worry. Instead, be brave and smile at the path I am forming for you and your people.
I am parting waters even now as you sit and write these words.
Believe Jenny. Hold on. Don't run! "
It was in that moment that Jesus taught me a lesson in simplicity of faith.
You see, in my quiet corner I didn't necessarily have any new insights. What I had been given was the fresh realization that my day-to-day hope was alive and oh so real.
I am very much in a holding pattern, waiting on God to direct some serious traffic.
So. Much. Holding. On.
Holding on to hear from a job, for the house to sell, for our ministry time here to wrap up, and for our family to settle into our new landing-place.
What about you?
Because the truth is...
He is making a way for you.
He is ahead of your today and tomorrow.
He is showing up for you and is with you.
He parts water for you to walk through too...but you have to trust enough to do the walking.
Maybe you can gather up hope and ask the best question out there.
"Jesus - what do you want to say to me?"
If your habits are anything like mine have been...we do more telling than asking. This leaves no room to hear and we miss out.
In my not having anything epic to share, I heard Jesus speak clearly into my life. That is far more valuable than trying to force write a blog post.
So before we find ourselves discouraged about not having anything new...maybe we can be content with God at work behind the scenes making a way and desiring our trust.
Faith is more about the journey afer all... especially how we spend our time in the holding patterns.