The Holy Moments of Waiting
I was chasing (well not really...more like tripping) my way down the hall after the toddler in what appeared to be pitch dark.
You know what that means? It was 5 a.m. people.
In my leaning over to tidy up the entry way I mumbled,"Okay Jesus. You win."
Which was a silly statement because I was stating the obvious.
He is winning, He has won, and He will continue to win.
I don't know about you, but whenever I say something to Him like that I get immediate feedback...which I usually appreciate - just not so much early in the morning when I've already hit the ground.
I'd rather hear some agreement and even more sympathy!
I love this chapter in Jeremiah verses 5-8. God is giving a message in response to Judah's sin encouraging them to find dependence in Him alone. Oh man - get ready.
"Cursed is the strong one who depends on mere humans, Who thinks he can make it on muscle alone and sets God aside as dead weight.
He's like a tumbleweed on the prairie, out of touch with the good earth. He lives rootless and aimless in a land where nothing grows.
But blessed is the man who trusts me, God, the woman who sticks with God.
They're like trees replanted in Eden, putting down roots near the rivers, never a worry through the hottest of summers, never dropping a leaf.
Serene and calm through droughts, bearing fresh fruit every season."
Cursed is the strong one. Ouch...you know the one that thinks they can do it on their own?
I desperately want to be that Eden woman who sticks with God.
The one who never worries in the hottest of summers (except I totally do because heat stroke and I loathe the heat index), the one who is deeply rooted (but at times I only sink in half of my roots just to exercise some freedom) and refreshed always, so my leaves never drop off (I do love refreshment).
The word in all of this passage that we must talk about, that does NOT describe me is SERENE. I actually chuckled out loud just now at Starbucks...I've never been described as serene.
Confident and courageous and laid back mostly...yes. But serene speaks of peace. Something I lose sight of often when times are a little shady.
His encouragement to me on that way-to-early of a morning was this:
"You will preserve.
I've brought you this far.
It would be better for you to run hard until the finish line.
Don't tire out yet Jenny.
I am the beginning of your story and I will also be the final page.
My word is sure, I am about to flood you with blessing. Do not bail now."
It's usually the end of a long journey that we tire right?
We try our very best to keep our eyes up to make it to the next week, or day, or minute...
For me it is this 8 week road trip full of incredible blessing and beauty. Full of walking in obedience and stepping into opportunities to see if God may be leading us there.
I feel like we are at the end of the adventure and hanging on for final answers.
I am full of hope and nerves sitting on the edge of my seat. I find myself fully trusting Jesus and His word to us about doing a new thing in our lives and ministry.
I also find myself asking the scary fearful question, "What if this doesn't work out. Then what?" You've asked that question haven't you? We all have.
I'm not feeling excited about persevering any more and I can sense God stretching this out just for the sake of really blowing my trust out of the water.
"Exactly HOW long can and will you walk closely with me?", He whispers.
Maybe this is you too.
I'm thinking there are loads of us waiting and hoping and dreaming for answered prayer and fulfillment of promises.
What is God asking you to trust Him with y'all?
Surely we can live in a way that shouts His praise because He will win in our lives and He will have His way.
Lets live out whatever journey He has us on like Eden women. Deeply rooted in Him, calm and trusting and continuing to bear much fruit.
Huge challenge? Yes. Am I dying to know? Yes.
The end of a journey is the holiest of moments where hope and trust meet on His watch.